One day, Ptr. Art Handog and his beautiful-inside-and-out wife, Rose came to the shop with their family friends from Vancouver, Canada. When I came by for a quick chat, Ptr. Art talked about his work and the conversation veered towards how Rose is a big help and support for him. I asked him for this blog what are the qualities to look for in finding a spouse. First, Ptr. Art looks at his wife, Rose, puts his arm lovingly on her shoulder and begins to speak, intermittently looking at her as though describing her.
This is his reply:
Beautiful on the inside is the most important.
She should be under the leadership of our Almighty God kasi hindi basta-basta e, no? There are so many people who get married. The weddings are so beautiful. But after two weeks, wala na… it’s over.
How do you test “beautiful on the inside” when you can’t see it?
The way they live.
What do you look for in the way they live?
Not only involved in the ministry but they live biblically, in fear of God; they influence other ladies to grow in their relationship with God.
What does that indicate?
That shows that she is growing in Christlikeness, in character. Her influence for good and righteousness is significant.
Why do you think sometimes after two weeks, marriages begin to unravel?
Sometimes in the relationship before marriage, everything is beautiful. But when two people start to live under one roof, that’s the time you begin to discover what the other person is really like.
Is this a common occurrence?…When people know each other for several years, why do things change when they are under one roof?
When they know each other for a few years, wala pa masyadong totoo na nakikita until they are together under one roof, that’s why premarital counselling is important for both parties to discover more about each other beforehand. If they both have Jesus Christ in their hearts and He is the centre of their relationship, whatever character each of the persons have, maaayos yon (the relationship can work).
How about if only one is committed to the lordship of Christ?
That’s the problem if only one …
So what’s the solution?
They can look into the One who is the Author of the relationship for the two persons to become one.
If there’s only one committed to the lordship of Christ, the burden will be on that person to adjust and love unconditionally?
[Ptr. Art and Rose] The bible commands, “Do not be yoked with unbelievers.” but if the non-commitment to Christ by one partner arises after the wedding, we counsel the one who is committed to submit to the lordship of Christ, to submit to the biblical guidelines of marriage. By the power of God indwelled in that one committed person, that can be a guiding testimony to the other to seek the Lord. We’ve seen a lot of cases wherein the good testimony of the committed one also draws the other to Christ. Although the road is tough, there’s hope in God. We believe that the Spirit is really working in the lives of surrendered people and God will be faithful.