Family Healing by Roni Gutierrez

How would you rate your family life right now? Are your relationships rife with drama? Conflict? Pride? Or just the cold, bitter, silence of indifference?

Our families can cause us much pain. Yet at the same time, when we are blinded by pride and focus our lens on other people’s shortcomings instead of our own demons – we become the source of pain.

To redeem broken families, we need to HEAL our relationships.


H – Humble your heart

E – Engage kindly

A – Ask for forgiveness

L – Love and let God



The secret sauce to any relationship is humility.

Un-sexy right?

But true.

List all your sins and confess them one by one.

Always begin your day with a heart properly humbled before the Lord.

The spirit of contrition will overflow to the way you engage your family –

with the eagerness to serve instead of entitlement, with tenderness instead of toughness,

with humility instead of haughtiness.

The Book of Proverbs says that such humility will be blessed:

He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.– Proverbs 3:34

There are no shortcuts around it: Humility is the first step to healing.

Tip: Pray David’s prayer.

If like me, you slip and become spiritually slack, take the time to humbly assess yourself daily. Turn the lens inward and implore upon God to reveal to you your secret idols, your “dignified” sins – the inner demons that you fail to see while studying the shortcomings of others.


Deflate your ego!

Pray: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” — Psalm 139: 23-24



How is your countenance? What vibe do you exude? And most importantly, how do you speak?

A soft and kind spirit is attractive. Kindness and softness lessen friction and provide a soothing balm that paves the way for healing. 

When was the last time you made “lambing” [express affection or kindness]?

Have you gone the extra mile to show and speak your love?

Or is your pride keeping you from extending the sweetness that the hearts of your nearest and dearest (secretly) crave?

One need not be a poet to be kind.

A simple “ KUMAIN KA NA BA? [Have you eaten?]” or “KAIN TAYO! [Let’s eat!]” said with a smile goes a long way.

The Bible approves:

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. —Proverbs 16:24


Lower your pride and don’t underestimate 3 of the most powerful words in the universe:




Only 3 words and 4 syllables, yet for some, it takes a lifetime (or more) to say it.

Want to shock family members bearing a grudge against you?

Say you’re sorry. And mean it.

By God’s grace, a sincere apology coming from a humble and contrite spirit is sometimes all it takes to start melting the stronghold of a glacial grudge.

No wonder the book of Philippians offers THE relationship tip to end all relationship tips –

and it revolves around the spirit of humility:

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, HE HUMBLED HIMSELF by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! —Philippians 2:5-8

Die to yourself. And seek forgiveness.


Do you have a lifetime of family damage to deal with?

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that reconciliation will take place soon after.

Forgiving and asking for forgiveness is the start.

But the complete restoration of your relationships is up to God.

Your job is to be humble, to seek forgiveness, and release forgiveness.

Let God do the rest in faith.

Let the healing transpire in His timeline, not your impatience.

Meanwhile, keep loving.

Persistently, unceasingly.

Keep loving.

Keep praying.

Keep believing.

And trust the Lord our God to do the healing.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. — Psalm 34:18


Praying that the Lord

is able to help us H.E.A.L.

(H – Humble our hearts,

E – Engage kindly,

A – Ask for forgiveness,

L – Love and let God)

to restore our relationships

in need of grace.

Have a blessed weekend!


Roni is:

Creative Director.

Communication Consultant.

Christ Advocate.

An ad girl by day, His Beloved at heart.

Her goal is simple:

To write words that reflect His Word.

To craft communcation

centered on Christ.

And to use her pen to point to Him.


Thank you so much, dear Roni!!!:)

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