Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you (MSG)
God is holy, holy, holy (Isa 6:3). That means He is perfectly good and righteous. His love is perfect. He can not wish ill. He wants to bless. He wants to cause good. In all things, He works for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8:28). His holy nature is the filter with which He designed me (and you) and allowed things to happen.
He had holy plans for (you and) me even before (you and) I came into being. He is the One who formed and shaped (you and) me. Yves Saint Laurent designs clothes, Hublot watches, Ferrari cars. But the one who designed and crafted (you and) me is the Designer of Designers, the all-knowing, all-powerful God of the Universe.
This is no cause for pride but rather, joy. I am not referring to the consequences of sin, but the parts of my life which I regarded as unfortunate, those things I wished I could have changed but are not within my control: difficulties, suffering, inadequacies, gender, race, parents, physical appearance, social status, choices of other people that affect me… these are part of God’s specific design to mold me into a certain way to walk a certain path.
My proper response ought to be gratitude and a pursuit in understanding of God’s will and way so that I will have my eyes focused on the goal. The things that annoy or disappoint can dim as fringe that I can let go of. They do not constitute the breadth and depth of my purpose. And by God’s grace, neither will He allow them to hinder it.
Discovering through His Word that He knew me—really knew me and had set me apart for His purpose before He formed me— blessed me with an understanding that even if at times parts of my life feel like mistakes, they aren’t. And as such, how could I argue? And why need I argue?
Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
I had known that when my mom discovered that I was conceived (before she knew that the baby would be me…it was nothing personal to her, you see, even if we are talking of ending my life here), she took herbs purchased with a promise to abort pregnancies. Oh, but the purchasing power and promise of the Lord are supernaturally greater. No plan of God can be thwarted (Job 42:2). Jesus purchased my life with His blood through His death and resurrection.
with your blood you purchased men for God
When the abortion herbs did not work, my mother simulated falls on the stairs to give my fetal world an 8.0 magnitude earthquake with a few aftershocks (my mother being an energetic wonderful dancer, that woman can shake too!). But oh, the mighty protection of God sheltered my blissful floating in my then-world even if it turned to a fleeting episode of a Disney Space Mountain adventure.
Psalm 71:6 From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you.
I survived my mother’s disappointment, difficulty, despair, and death blows. In the end, God made me AND her survivors and overcomers. God has since taken my mother and me through many years of healing and we have come to deeply be grateful for and love each other.
The way God empowered me from death towards life during gestation is a metaphor of how He would empower me towards life outside of my mother’s womb. Oh how many a suffering had thrown me off but God has been faithful to revive and restore me… to life! (L’chiam!).
2Cor 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.(NIV)
Complete with different forms of “killer abortion herbs and tripping” from the enemy that seeks to steal, kill, and destroy what is God’s, this earthly life is my gestation, preparation, and dress rehearsal for the future life I will have outside of the temporary womb of earthly physicality. Cindy Soriano said that in life, one is either in the eye of the storm, just out of the storm, or about to enter into a storm. Storms are a given on this side of heaven. But I can be assured that God will never leave me nor forsake me. He is my Help (Psalm 121).
Isa 44: 1 “But now listen, O Jacob, my servant, Israel, whom I have chosen. 2 This is what the Lord says— he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid… 3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.
Water on the thirsty land. Streams on the dry ground. By God’s grace alone. He will remove my fear. He will give me what I need. And by faith and with joy, I claim the blessing on my descendants that the temporary sacrifice called for might afford a chance for godly legacy to be theirs, that they might see God’s mighty hand, that they might see His glory, know the Alpha and Omega He is for whom nothing is impossible, and that they will be able to tell this to their descendants.
In the fullness of time, He will take His children to His home, heaven, which is described in the Book of Revelations, where there is no tear, pain, sin, and no devil. Meanwhile, as life continues to happen and the training and dress rehearsal continue, may He enable (you and) me to look at life and its details according to His perspective. Phil 3:13-15 Sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Thank You for the life You give; not just physical but spiritual LIFE. Thank You for everything I have ever complained about. Though at the time they do not look right, I know that nothing happens that is not filtered by Your love. Please help me (and my two readers) to understand what in the world You are doing because we know that whatever You are doing is good and I want to be part of it. I think they want to be part of it too. If at times we get discouraged because it’s as though we are in the first quarter of the movie and all the wrong things are happening and we want to scold the scriptwriter for creating such a bad movie, please fill us with Your Spirit and wisdom. Help us to be quiet instead of keeping on side-commenting to discourage and annoy the others around us. Help us to listen and understand Your main plot and not focus on the props and extras, Glenn Close’s curly hair which are not significant in the greater scheme of things. Alex Forrest had a necessary part to play; otherwise, there would have been no story to tell. Help us to have faith that You are the Best Director and Best Picture maker. In a just and holy plot, treachery and the treacherous will be unmasked. None of the accomplices will slip away unpunished. They even repent in the end.. But however You write the rest of the story, I know that this will turn out GOOD. I will just clap unwittingly at the glorious ending. As I wait upon you, help me to not just seek entertainment in my seat but to gain wisdom, to own Your LIFE message in Jesus’s name and for His glory, Amen.