The recent small business expansion has been a testing ground for my spiritual walk.  As the pressure to recoup the expenses mounts and it seems that there is a shortage of people who understand the urgency of the situation, as I realize the scope of works necessary and the breadth of new things I have to learn and do, it’s new territory where I need to conquer my responses to situations with grace and love even as I keep in mind to be a good steward of resources and time.

On one occasion, a supplier lied to me repeatedly even after I made my payment.  Situation still hasn’t been corrected after two weeks. Another is dragging the feet and the reassuring words are not matching what’s being done.  Another, taking sweet time. A government agency is giving us the runaround.  I’m being told that we’re about to get the last of several permits yet the requirements for this one keeps evolving and we’re getting introduced to new requirements to submit when we’re about to pick up the permit.

It’s been four months of one-direction flow of money—outwards.  And I need money to flow back—inwards.  Yet everyone expects to be paid their share.

I asked one of my disciplers to pray for me.  I didn’t want to be walking around maligning the name of Jesus because I need to get things done.  I wanted to know how I could accomplish my goals while being a good testimony?

As usual, she didn’t just reply with what first came to her mind.  She prayed first for me and how to respond. I so appreciate that she regards with reverence her counsel that it not be of her but of God.  After a day, she sent me these appropriate verses:

I saw how I was becoming a Martha, doing doing doing, worried and upset about many things, fretting that her sister Mary left her to do the work herself and asking that Jesus tell Mary to help her.  Jesus replied “only one thing is needed” and Mary has chosen better.  That “better” was to “sit at Jesus’s feet listening to what He said” (verse 39).

Even in the need to accomplish many things, keeping the focus on Jesus will enable me to know His will in a given situation so I do not go ahead of Him and bring back my old ways but make Him a filter for my words and actions.

My discipler also gave me Revelation 2:2-5, aptly reminding me that I may have done good and worked hard but I am forgetting my first love, Jesus… that He is my reason for being.  Investment recoup is not; it is a mere temporary calling, a stewardship of this season’s time and resources towards accomplishing God’s purpose in my life.

Lord, am I loving You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength?  Out of the overflow of my heart from which my mouth speaks shows a need for heart circumcision from unnecessary flesh.  Is my motivation for the glory of Christ or for the glory of me?  I know the fruit of the Spirit is from You and when I’m manifesting this fruit, I am aligned with You, abiding in The Vine; when I’m not,  I am going opposite from You.

My reactions may have been natural for a go-getter, for a “good businesswoman” but You are reminding me that You are more concerned that I am behaving as Your child, representing You properly.  Oh what a challenge.

No wonder Your Word says, “Do not wear yourself out to get rich. Do not trust in your own cleverness.“;  “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  There is that pull towards the work, towards results, towards profit.

As I see things more clearly now, yet again, I fall on my face in worship of You, in thanksgiving to You, in awe of You, in love with You, my Treasure, my Goal, my Reason for Being who loved me first, who died for me, who are with me through every mountain and valley, whose plan is to prosper me and give me a hope and future.

Thank You Lord for Your reminders. Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for my discipler.  Thank You for balancing my perspective.  Help me, dear Lord, by Your supernatural power to do an excellent job at being a businesswoman… while being a good testimony as Your child in Jesus’s name amen.  But Lord, You do see everything.  I surrender all those who are not doing their share to You.  Thank You that You are able to do all things that are beyond my control. Help me to conquer victoriously what is within my control in Your name, amen.